R. A lighter question for July! The answer is, address them however they want you to address them. However, there are some rules of thumb.
Whether in church or in public, you can never go wrong with “Pastor X”. Most will be okay with you using their first name, so “Pastor Brian”. Others will prefer you to use their last name, so “Pastor Middleswarth” (I swore I would never inflict that on anyone!). I would absolutely use this title when they are “working”, so in the church building, when doing hospital visits etc. If you were to drop the title, I would only do so in my own home or some other semi-private location or if given prior permission from the pastor.
If they are ordained in the Roman Catholic Church then they would be addressed as “Father X”. That is because those who are ordained in the Roman Catholic Church are priests, not pastors. It is a difference in understanding of function that brings about the different names.
I know some Pastors who much prefer folks to call them by their first name almost all the time. They see the title as something that creates a false impression or expectation of who they are. While I tend to disagree, I appreciate their choice.
For me, having the title reminds both myself and the person I am with of what the primary basis of our relationship is, at least at that moment. If you aren’t my parishioner, I wouldn’t expect you to use the title. But when you do, you are providing a specific context for my interaction with you. Brian as Pastor is different from the Brian who is not.
Now, this does not mean I mind it when people don’t use the title when addressing me, either in church or out in public. I’m not going to dictate what they say. Rather, I use it as a verbal indication of how you want to interact with me.
Hope this answered the question!
Let me know if you have further questions by contacting me.
God’s Blessings,
Pastor Brian
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